.. " hark fayre maiden... this smile of yours i have to tolerate these weeks past, you passing me in the laybye, the only place passes for just about usable signal for so many years..not that i need bother use your bimbophones the good that comes from them.... we discover in the subsequent three years.."
"pray tell me...you ride with three on a tether... do you need someone perrraps to ride alongside thee.." best chatup line in history.
Second sentence of rejoinder from said fayre maiden " dont fuck with me i shovel fuckin muck for a fuckin' livin' ...up to my crotch"
" well i shall whotsap send you a picture of Lady Muck's muckheap i have been up to my arse in the last week if you.... [ "heres my number mister ifyou want it"] ... we have something in common.."
Fast forward a month.
texts fly: "L****..its been ten years... PLEASE put me on a small ..small one... tame one...please..... i may have to google 'how to ride.'." .. silly towny women wouldnt get this: randy country women like to have double entendres in their incoming even if ... we don't know if she is married..yet..
Actually googling on the day ... 'how to ride'..
a little later, riding...:
"ehh...well thank you... i mean you put me on the biggest fucker of them all...larger than king kong .. and now you tell me he was badly abused as a child....aint aint quite right in the head.... "
a little later
"thank you...it had been ten years for reasons so tragic it is daft.... and now i shall not even have to wonder if i may mount a nag .. in safety ....you having MADE me ride aside you the craziest nutjob of them all.... none of these absurd mindfullness babes would get as you do.... fuckin get on with it then... you have no more fear.."
But the best bit yet to come.
Babies and her true truth
And so many pictures of her radiant smile .. because a real country woman is afraid of ..nothing. Especially opinions.
